It has often been said that familiarity breeds contempt. I have of late been questioning the veracity of this sentiment. Although familiarity can lead to contempt, is this due to necessity or choice?
I had an experience recently that brought this thought to the fore. Having seen what I thought was a beautiful sight, I pointed it out to a companion who was with me. Without looking up he/she replied, "yeah, I've seen it before". I thought to myself, is the beauty of the sight changed in anyway by familiarity?
What is it that leads us to discount that which we've already encountered? Are beauty and novelty necessarily related? Need a beautiful vista be any less breathtaking if it is in our backyard rather than some foreign land? I don't think it is the beauty itself which is lessened, but instead our ability to recognize the beauty.
Marriage has given me some new perspective on this question. I see my wife every day. Her face is rapidly becoming the most familiar sight in my life. But here, instead of becoming less so, her face continually becomes more beautiful to my eyes. The more I know her, the more I love her; the more I love her, the more am able to truly know her. And as this reciprocal process continues, I am better able to recognize and see her beauty. The key point here is that her beauty has not changed, but my cognizance of it has.
I wonder... is a sunset any less beautiful because there was a similar one yesterday and the day before? What about my family and friends, whom I see regularly, are they lessened because of familiarity? Are they any less beautiful?
It seems to me that familiarity can only breed contempt if it is separated from love. Love enables the eyes to see what truly is. Love highlights beauty and focuses one's vision towards it. Indeed familiarity guided by love can produce affection rather than contempt. What this means is that as I go about my day I choose how it is that I will respond to the familiar. Will I react with contempt and indifference, or with affection and attentiveness? Will I see the beauty in the world around me and in those who pass by daily? Beauty is all around me whether I am able to recognize it or not. The pertinent question here is, will I allow my sight to be guided by love?
Perhaps, familiarity (unguided by love) breeds contempt. But I'm convinced that this is the result of a choice, not of necessity.
No comments:
Post a Comment