Thursday, July 29, 2010

Love: The Greatest Adventure

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Pixar got something right, so very right, when they made the animated movie UP.

*** Plot Spoiler Warning ***

I saw this movie some months ago at the blood platelet donation clinic (they have movies to watch while you donate as the process can take 1.5 hours) and for some reason it popped into my head recently. I enjoyed this movie; yes, thoroughly enjoyed it. Well, to be more accurate, it wasn't the movie so much as certain parts of it. There are two parts in particular. The first is a scene at the beginning where we are given the pre-story and shown the married life of the main character (Carl) and his wife (Ellie) - it's really cute. The main story line takes place after his wife has passed away. In it, Carl undertakes the adventure that the two had always wanted, but weren't able to do. The second great scene takes places closer to the end as Carl realizes that he will not be able to complete the adventure that he has set out on in honour of his deceased wife. Resigned to the fact that their adventure will not happen, thinking himself a failure, he opens his wife's old adventure scrapbook. Here he realizes what Ellie had figured out long before: their life together and the love between them was the adventure. Yes, I almost cried at this point. Actually, I almost jumped out of my seat and cheered (though with that needle and hose sticking out of me that wouldn't have been a smart decision).

We often think that adventure necessarily involves the act of going to a far-off place and undertaking some great physical feat: hiking the wilderness, climbing a mountain, crossing a sea, etc. Sure, these things are adventurous - I'm not trying to say that they aren't - but the greatest adventure is the one that involves the heart. Learning to open yourself up to others, to know and be known, to love and be loved... this is the greatest adventure, this is life in its fullest.

It takes a great amount of courage to love, to be vulnerable and open before others, to trust. But we must learn to love since it is only through loving that life becomes an adventure. Without love it is just a long, arduous journey.

Why merely journey when you can experience the greatest adventure?

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Sunday, July 25, 2010

Birthday Reflections: Ad multos annos...

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Friday was my birthday. I've never really been big on my own birthday. As I recently told a friend, at least you usually get a free meal out of the deal. This year has been the biggest of my birthdays thus far. I truly do feel loved and valued by my friends and family. And perhaps this year more than ever I am cognizant of the debt of love and gratitude that I owe for the wonderful people in my life.

One thing that birthdays do tend to bring is an opportunity for reflection: a chance to take stock of where you have been, where you are, and potentially, where you are going. I'm finding this to be especially true this year. I often joke that I'm a slow learner, but when I get it, I got it. Here I am with just over three decades under my belt now, a belt that is a little bigger than it was just a decade ago, several (thousand) more grey hairs, and a greatly expanded vision and understanding of life. I'm quantifiably well behind many my age (as regards career, possessions, and the like). Yeah, maybe I took a little bit longer getting to where I am, but I think I needed the time to learn, prepare, and grow. One thing that I can say that I've learned for sure is that you just never know where life is going to take you. I never could have imagined that I would be in the place that I currently find myself. The longer I live, the bigger and more mysterious and magical and beautiful life seems to be. Though I can say with all honesty that I've learned so much with the passing of years, I can also attest with equal honesty that the more I learn, the less I seem to know (if that makes any sense?). I greatly enjoy the increased perspective that the years bring. Our society may worship youth, and youth definitely has its advantages (especially physically), but there's nothing comparable to lived experience - and that only comes with age.

This birthday, my reflections are filled with hope and gratitude: hope for the future and gratitude for the past and present.

If I were a denizen of the past Latin ages, I would likely receive a birthday greeting along the lines of, ad multos annos... 'to many [more] years'! Ad multos annos indeed.

Deo gratia!

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Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Our Consumer Culture: Complicity, Complacency, and Culpability…

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It is a strange age that we live in. I imagine that there was a time, a long time, in which one could see the results of his/her actions. It was a time in which one could base his/her decisions on what was known from first hand experience and first hand knowledge. Such a time is past. I may be oversimplifying (and perhaps idealizing) the ages come and gone, but the fact of a serious disconnect between our choices and their consequences remains. I struggle with this on a regular basis. It seems to me that in our age of choices, of unfathomable options, there is a severe lack of information to properly equip us properly for making said choices. There is often a pervasive sense of powerlessness in the face of this global economic dreadnought that we have unwittingly created.

It would be hard to imagine that there are many who have not heard of the Deepwater Horizon oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico. For nearly three months we saw news reports of the unimaginable volumes of crude oil gushing into the waters (hundreds of millions of gallons). For those of us who are old enough to remember the Exxon Valdez spill from two decades ago, we are given to measure this current disaster in recognizable terms: almost two Exxon spills every week!

I’ve heard and been involved in many conversations in which we denounce the greed and short-sightedness of those in charge of BP. I also heard a fellow on the radio suggest that those who drive their vehicles to environmental rallies are as guilty as the heads of BP. I found that I had trouble disagreeing with his statement. This is not to say that we car/truck drivers are equally as guilty in any quantifiable sense; instead he is suggesting that all who share in the consumption of petroleum products, which includes absolutely everyone in our society to varying degrees, share in the communal guilt of this disaster. He’s right. We all play a part in the consumption of, and demand for, cheap fuel. We create and continue the market drive for more oil. We are all players in the game. This is an example of an easily identifiable connection between our choices, our lifestyles, and their (unintended) consequences. There are so many other less obvious connections, most of which we are blissfully ignorant about.

I recently came across an article about ‘blood phones’ (also a video). If you remember the awareness that was raised not too long about regarding ‘blood diamonds’, this is similar. Apparently there may be a relation between our Blackberry phones, our iPhones, and the bloody war(s) currently raging in the DR Congo. I will not discuss here the unmentionable atrocities taking place (though they must be mentioned, I'll leave that to those more informed than myself); sufficed to say that none of us desire to have any connection with what is taking place there - let alone be found financially supporting the warlords committing such horrors. But, how are we to know about hidden connections such as this one?

It becomes almost overwhelming (and at times is indeed overwhelming) to think about the various and hidden ways in which our society's operation on a daily basis affects the wider world: The cheap meats we enjoy linked to great environmental degradation (not to mention voluminous petroleum use and gross labour/human rights abuses)? The clothes we wear linked to sweat-shops in Asia? The cheap imports we purchase linked with child labour in India and around the world? The tropical fruits finding their way to our kitchen tables linked with global warming (the effects of which are becoming increasingly visible in communities and various plant and animal species around the world) It seems inevitable that our desire for goods affects countless others in our increasingly globalized world. Yes, at times it can indeed seem overwhelming. What are we to do?

I'm not suggesting that we all need to know everything about everything. We simply cannot know the origins and consequences of everything we purchase and every decision we make (in some cases, such as food labeling, companies go to great lengths to hide origins). I'm also not trying to accuse or point fingers (I find that approach is seldom constructive). What I am advocating is thinking and acting. We must think about our choices and actions as much as we are able to. We must act on the reliable information that we are given.

Should we stop driving cars? Should we have a technological pogrom against all cellphones, digital cameras, and laptops? Should we put an end to all meat consumption, ban bananas, dress solely in locally grown/produced hemp clothing, and close down all dollar stores, Walmart and Cosco? Well, no; I'm not advocating these knee-jerk reactions. Should we be moved to some kind of self-flagellation? No, punishment and severe criticism is not the answer either (though a little bit of honest, and reasonable, penance never hurts). Neither is finger-pointing the answer (unless you have lots of fingers and one reserved for yourself); it's too easy and unconstructive to place all the blame on our neighbours (yes, even if they drive a hummer); self-righteous hypocrisy is not the answer.

Reasonable knowledge, thought, awareness, and action are what are required: think, learn, and act. I hear a lot about 'purchasing power' and the 'democratic dollar' - every purchase is a vote. Companies want to be seen as 'green' and 'humanitarian'. The more we tell them what is important to us, the more they will change to fit these priorities. Step by step we need to change the way we live and the way we consume. We need to make little changes (little changes can turn into big ones). We need to learn, communicate, discuss, and influence.

What ought I to do? Well, I'm writing this blog post on my iBook... I think I'll start by writing a letter to Steve Jobs and share with him my hopes for the people of DR Congo.

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Thursday, July 8, 2010

Billy Joel: Seeing the familiar...

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An excerpt from Billy Joel, "Just the Way You Are":

Don't go changing, to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore

I wouldn't leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I'll take you just the way you are

It's a lovely song and Billy has a way of writing lyrics that might seem overly sentimental coming from others, but from him are simply wonderful. I was recently listening to this song when the line, "Don't imagine you're too familiar // And I don't see you anymore" struck me.

With each passing day, by indiscernible increments, I know my dear wife better and better - I love her more and more. As we spend more time together I learn who she is. As my understanding of her grows, so too does my ability to see her - to see her and not who I might think she is. This is one of the blessings of marriage together: I grow to know her. The flip side of this marriage scenario is the danger that I forget how to see her.

When things become too familiar, we can take them for granted and assume that we have seen them and know them already. Everyday occurrences can become thought so common as to be completely forgotten: the evening sunset, the mountains on a clear day, the cool spring breeze... all of these can be right before me and I can fail to see their beauty because they have become too common, too familiar. How much more the danger that a person I see every day can become commonplace; how much more the danger that I can fail to see my wife as the beautiful, dynamic creature that she is because I assume that I know her, that I know who she is, that I have her figured out.

There is a danger that things and people can become 'too familiar' and that we can fail to see them as they are (and not merely as we think they are). All too often, we put people in boxes. The truth is that human beings are too big for boxes; and if we do attempt to put them in boxes, all we ultimately accomplish is that our eyes are blinded and we can no longer see them.

The challenge, then, is to see others and accept them "just they way [they] are".

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