This past Saturday morning I headed out to the Kwantlen Surrey campus to take a Language Proficiency Index (LPI) exam. This exam is one of the formal hurdles that I have to jump through on my way to becoming a Probation Officer. So, I sat down in a large conference room filled with other test-takers and had my English ability measured. I found it quite easy - and almost fun actually. There were grammar questions, reading comprehension questions, and one essay question at the end. The exam was to take 2.5 hours, but I finished it in just over 1. So, I hoped on the bus and headed off to work for the day. During the long bus ride I thought about the essay question and how I would describe it to anyone who might ask how my exam went. Just for fun I decided to compose a little description in my head as I sat on the bus. I quickly wrote it down when I got to work. Here it is:
My EssayBefore I began writing, I took a moment to survey what lay before my and I knew immediately that I was up to the challenge. So, with determination and confidence I put pen to paper... I wrote.
My prose was elegant - my argument concise. It was playful, but not grandiose; lofty but not without purpose. My logic was keen and my comments insightful. My diction was imaginative, my delivery compelling. The words were like so many colourful brushstrokes upon white canvas, bringing life and energy wherever they touched. The nouns and verbs began the dance as they swayed in unison. Soon the prepositions, adjectives, and conjunctions joined in as the energy increased. Suddenly participles and adverbs rushed into the joyous romp of syntactical ecstasy springing up. The sentences intuitively knew what was required of them: at times they were quick and pulsing, eliciting excitement and soaring intellectual vistas, other times they were slow and undulating in their reflection as they gentle massaged the tender contemplative regions of the soul. Each sentence built upon the one before - following the rhythm but adding power with each succession until finally the climax arrived and brought conclusion.
My essay? It was the embodiment of all that grammarians fantasize about during the slow hours of the day.
Yes, I would say it went well.
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...I hope you passed.... ;)
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