Recently, the question of why people have children has been on my mind. Put more accurately, what are the reasons people have for desiring to have, or choosing to have, children. People have children because they have sex: yes, sex leads to procreation (perhaps in the future I will muse about this concept which is so foreign to many in our current society). Okay, back to the topic at hand... what are the reasons why people choose to have children?
This question has had me thinking, what were my motivations for having our little guy? I don't think that I had asked this question at the time; in fact, I'm pretty sure that I didn't. I don't recall ever asking my dear wife what her motivations were either. We both knew that we desired children. It really just came down to the question of when was the "right" time. Previously, that is, previous to meeting my wife, I hadn't any real desire for children. Previous to my conversion to the Christian faith, I had no desire to get married, let alone have children. But that all changed.
Oh, I knew theologically why we were to have children. Love, true love, is procreative. This is a core truth within the Christian Gospel. It is, as John Paul II wrote, the Evangelium Vitae (gospel of life). I knew that love is dynamic and alive, that it grows. I knew that Christian marriage is directed towards the dual purposes of unity and procreation. I knew that both marriage and family are intended as a means for sanctification (growth in holiness). All this I knew. But, looking back, I don't think I really put much thought into what my personal reasons (if I can speak in such terms) for desiring and pursuing children were.
Upon reflection, I think I would have answered then as I do now: I love my wife. My love for her included a desire to join with her in the act of creation. I desired to see our love come to fruition in new life. I longed to see her as the mother of my children. Indeed, I looked forward with eager anticipation to seeing the deep inner beauty of my wife passed on to our offspring.
Procreation, when I take the time to consider it, has to be one of the greatest gifts that we humans have been granted by our loving Creator. It has to be one of the greatest honours bestowed upon us. Think about it for a moment: God has invited us to participate in the act of creation.
In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. (Genesis 1.1)In this simple phrase found at the very outset of God's written revelation we learn the nature of divinity. The Church's teaching is that God is a creator, one who created the universe our of nothing (ex nihilo). What is truly incredible about procreation is that we have been invited to participate in such an act. The very power through which the entire universe was wrought at the inception of time is brought to bear with each new child growing in the womb. And we are invited to share in this new creation. There was a time (a little over 15 months ago) when there was no Isaac, and suddenly, through an act of conjugal love, there sprung into being a new life, a new person. Yes, truly incredible.
I desired children because of love.
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Post Script: People have been having children for a multitude of reasons, some of them rather vapid and senseless (at least in my estimation), some of them more considered and reasonable (whatever that means). Ultimately, people have children because they have sex. Whatever their reasons may be, everything changes in the eyes of their newborn child. Reasons for having children and reasons for loving and raising children can greatly vary. I think that the question of why disappears, or at least fades into the background, upon their arrival. In the eyes of a helpless, and completely vulnerable child, new reasons suddenly spring forth .
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