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Living life is a continuous act of great faith. I've heard our lives described as small islands of certainty amidst an endless ocean of uncertainty; I think this an appropriate description of human existence. I know the Evangelical Christians like to talk in terms of "the will of God" as if this is something that will always be evident through prayer, but my experience tends more towards letting the transformative love of God guide my reason and judgment in decision making. It seems to me that the will of God, the narrative that explains events in our lives, is often only understood in retrospect - years later looking back and interpreting with the knowledge and growth gained through such experiences. Rather than understanding as walking with certainty, more often than not we take brave and trembling steps of faith, trusting in God's grace and sovereign guidance, making our choices and doing our best. Indeed, there are very few things we can be certain of in this life.
There are moments, though, moments of clarity, moments of certainty. I remember a moment ten years ago (31 Dec 2001) in Rottenman, Austria. It was Silvester (New Year's Eve) and we were watching the fireworks exploding in the sky over the little Austrian town. Looking out into the colourful night sky, I knew that I was on the right path. My life had changed drastically over the prior six or so months following a religious conversion experience. There was no doubt in my mind that I was made to follow Jesus and live the life to which He was calling me. This life of love which he now demanded of me was what I had been created for.
I remember another such moment of clarity. Almost three and a half years ago, standing at the altar with my new bride, exchanging vows of love fidelity, I had no doubts as to my (our) direction. Looking into her beautiful eyes I knew I was made for this. I was created by love for love. This wife whom God had given to me was given for my sanctification, a gift of divine love and grace, provided that I might grow into who I was intended to be. Indeed, when I looked into her loving eyes that day, I had an unwavering clarity of purpose.
Just over 56 hours ago, I found myself experiencing this same clarity of purpose. When I looked into my newborn sons eyes, when I picked little Isaac up and held him in my arms... there were no doubts or questions, there was only this sense of clarity. I knew in the very core of my being that I was created for this. This precious little gift, this child has been entrusted into our care. I am his father; he is my son. I was created to love him. And thus I shall do.
Indeed, there is very little that I can be certain of in this life. There will be questions and doubts; there will be struggles. I don't know what the future will hold. In this vast sea of uncertainty, I shall let these few certainties be my guide. I know why I am here. I am here to love, and this I shall do.
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Beautiful.
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