It was about a year ago that I heard these words: "Once the demands of necessity and propriety have been met, everything else we own belongs to the poor" (Rerum Novarum, 22; paraphrase). They have walked with me each day since. I cannot bring myself to deny the truth in them; neither can I seem to bring my self to any sort of action in response to them.
In his 1891 encyclical, Rerum Novarum, Pope Leo XIII addresses the “Rights and Duties of Capitol and Labour”. Rerum Novarum is Latin for “Concerning New Things”; Leo is responding to the rise of the modern world with all the social and economic changes that followed in its wake. During the course of dealing with the tricky issues of workers rights, possession of private property, the role of the employer, etc. Leo reminds his readers (in no uncertain terms) of the position the Christian church has universally held with regards to the poor. In fact, the Old Testament Law and Prophets, the New Testament Gospels and Epistles, and the teachings of the Church are all in clear agreement on this one. We are each personally responsible for the care and welfare of the poor in our midst.
The 13th century theologian and Doctor of the western church, St. Thomas Aquinas, clarified the question of what the Christian is to do with his/her money: “Man should not consider his material possessions as his own, but as common to all, so as to share them without hesitation when others are in need. Whence the Apostle with, ‘Command the rich of this world... to offer with no stint, to apportion largely.’”
The message could not be any more clear. I have read the Scriptures and I know what Jesus has to say on the topic. All of the Hebrew prophets are of one accord on this. I’ve heard it said that the commandments of Christ are not difficult because they are so complex, but they are difficult because they are so simple and we don't want to do them.
The picture of Jesus as judge isn’t one that readily comes to my mind. The image (metaphor) that is most common to my thinking tends to be that of the shepherd. But the Scriptures do tell us that the Son of Man (aka Jesus) will judge each according to his deeds. A day will come when we will have to account for our actions. Interestingly, the actions (or inaction) that the judge charges people with are those involving their treatment of the poor and the marginalized.
“for I was hungry, and you gave Me nothing to eat; I was thirsty, and you gave Me nothing to drink; I was a stranger, and you did not invite Me in; naked, and you did not clothe Me; sick, and in prison, and you did not visit Me… Truly I say to you, to the extent that you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to Me.” (Matthew 25)
When the Bible refers to ‘the rich’, I know of whom it speaks… it speaks of me. I to whom Jesus calls for repentance.. he calls to me.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Loss and Marriage: go together like a horse and carriage?
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I’ve recently had a couple conversations which have prompted me to consider marriage and its various collaterals, especially those less often considered.
An acquaintance of mine expressed to me her frustration with the social impediments that she feels obstructs people from expressing feelings of loss at weddings. She seemed to feel that there ought to be room for people to express the feeling of loss that they feel when a close friend, or perhaps sibling, gets married.
I think it’s true that marriage is predominantly viewed from the perspective of the bond that is being formed between the two persons. Less often is marriage understood as the rupture (or at least drastic change) of other previous relational bonds. The dynamic of friendships will indeed change greatly when one of the friends gets married. Even sibling or child/parent relationships greatly change when this new bond is formed. Ought we to recognize this and grieve for a loss? Is this a loss? I would argue (sorry LvD) that this is not a loss to be grieved. Sure, the ‘good old times’ will never come back – those carefree days as single friends with (supposedly) limitless potential and infinite time – things will never be the same, but that is how life works. Ought we to mourn with each new day the loss of the day before? No, we cherish the memories from yesterday and face the new day set before us confident in all that yesterday has equipped us with. Relationships are not static; friendships change and grow (and sometimes unfortunately end, but that’s another topic). Ought I to mourn the loss of my child when he/she grows into adulthood… no I celebrate it as the natural course of life and growth and cherish the memories of his/her childhood. I will concede that we cannot deny the change that comes when a good friend gets married. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of that person we have known, loved, and cherished. But we have to learn to let that person of yesteryear grow into the person of today that he/she is becoming.
The other topic of loss and marriage centers around the mixing of cultures in marriage. My wife and I, in a very real sense, come from different cultures. I realized very early on that our marriage would necessarily involve a sort of cultural loss for her. The most obvious instance of this, from my perspective, was when she decided to leave her church and join me in another one. I don’t know what it is like to grow up in a church, to know everyone there and their history (and have them know yours), to have such a focused location of community, family, and relationships. I’ll never fully know what kind of loss she felt when she decided to leave her church. When she told me of her decision, I… well, words cannot describe the love that I felt, both for and from her. I’m seldom as moved as I was at that moment; but I knew she was (and is) feeling a great loss because of it. More than just the loss of her religious community, she also chose, when she chose to marry me, to create another degree of separation between herself and the Dutch-Canadian community. I’m a good guy, but I’m not Dutch. No matter how much I try to honour and preserve her Dutch-Canadian roots, and pass them on to our children, she has lost something in gaining someone. Her marriage to me has come at a price. It is a price she willingly paid, but it is still a price.
So the question remains: are loss and marriage intrinsically connected? In some ways, yes. But insofar as life is dynamic and change is inevitable, growth requires a certain balance of continuity and discontinuity to be real growth. Sometimes the discontinuity is more keenly felt than others, but it is always there whether or not we recognize it. Some of my detractors might feel that I am airbrushing the emotions involved, or denying their validity, when I say this but I’m not at all: it is a good thing to miss someone, it means there is something of value to miss.
[p.s. if you’re not a Frank Sinatra fan (or even an Al Bundy fan), then I apologize for the confusing title]
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I’ve recently had a couple conversations which have prompted me to consider marriage and its various collaterals, especially those less often considered.
An acquaintance of mine expressed to me her frustration with the social impediments that she feels obstructs people from expressing feelings of loss at weddings. She seemed to feel that there ought to be room for people to express the feeling of loss that they feel when a close friend, or perhaps sibling, gets married.
I think it’s true that marriage is predominantly viewed from the perspective of the bond that is being formed between the two persons. Less often is marriage understood as the rupture (or at least drastic change) of other previous relational bonds. The dynamic of friendships will indeed change greatly when one of the friends gets married. Even sibling or child/parent relationships greatly change when this new bond is formed. Ought we to recognize this and grieve for a loss? Is this a loss? I would argue (sorry LvD) that this is not a loss to be grieved. Sure, the ‘good old times’ will never come back – those carefree days as single friends with (supposedly) limitless potential and infinite time – things will never be the same, but that is how life works. Ought we to mourn with each new day the loss of the day before? No, we cherish the memories from yesterday and face the new day set before us confident in all that yesterday has equipped us with. Relationships are not static; friendships change and grow (and sometimes unfortunately end, but that’s another topic). Ought I to mourn the loss of my child when he/she grows into adulthood… no I celebrate it as the natural course of life and growth and cherish the memories of his/her childhood. I will concede that we cannot deny the change that comes when a good friend gets married. Sometimes it is difficult to let go of that person we have known, loved, and cherished. But we have to learn to let that person of yesteryear grow into the person of today that he/she is becoming.
The other topic of loss and marriage centers around the mixing of cultures in marriage. My wife and I, in a very real sense, come from different cultures. I realized very early on that our marriage would necessarily involve a sort of cultural loss for her. The most obvious instance of this, from my perspective, was when she decided to leave her church and join me in another one. I don’t know what it is like to grow up in a church, to know everyone there and their history (and have them know yours), to have such a focused location of community, family, and relationships. I’ll never fully know what kind of loss she felt when she decided to leave her church. When she told me of her decision, I… well, words cannot describe the love that I felt, both for and from her. I’m seldom as moved as I was at that moment; but I knew she was (and is) feeling a great loss because of it. More than just the loss of her religious community, she also chose, when she chose to marry me, to create another degree of separation between herself and the Dutch-Canadian community. I’m a good guy, but I’m not Dutch. No matter how much I try to honour and preserve her Dutch-Canadian roots, and pass them on to our children, she has lost something in gaining someone. Her marriage to me has come at a price. It is a price she willingly paid, but it is still a price.
So the question remains: are loss and marriage intrinsically connected? In some ways, yes. But insofar as life is dynamic and change is inevitable, growth requires a certain balance of continuity and discontinuity to be real growth. Sometimes the discontinuity is more keenly felt than others, but it is always there whether or not we recognize it. Some of my detractors might feel that I am airbrushing the emotions involved, or denying their validity, when I say this but I’m not at all: it is a good thing to miss someone, it means there is something of value to miss.
[p.s. if you’re not a Frank Sinatra fan (or even an Al Bundy fan), then I apologize for the confusing title]
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Thursday, June 17, 2010
Thoughts on Influence: the nature of relationship...
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I once had someone explain to me how he/she was reticent to volunteer his/her thoughts because he/she didn’t want to influence others. I remember being very puzzled about this way of thinking.
The more I think about relationships and human interaction, the more I come to realize that influence is an unavoidable part of such things. Not only is it an unavoidable part of relationships, it is also a necessary part. Every human interaction, however large or however small, will involve the influence of one party on the other (and vice versa). The influence may be very temporary or it may have long-term effects, but it will be there.
Long ago, I began to get very tired with the “it’s my choice and it affects me so I’ll do what I want” approach. The super-individualistic mindset is a tired and spent relic of the past; well, maybe it’s not, but it should be. Many people in our fragmented society are waking up to the reality that we live in a world of human interaction and relationships. We are learning to ask ourselves what it means to live in relationship with the people around us, what it means to live in community. We are asking ourselves what it might look like to live and act cognizant of the effects our choices and actions might have on the lives of those around us. What kind of influence do we exert?
Returning to the first sentiment above, I ask myself, is that a reasonable expectation to hold: not wanting to influence others? I share my thoughts exactly because I want to influence others. Also, I share my thoughts because I want others to influence me. Ideally that’s what a conversation would involve: I share my thoughts, the other person shares his/her thoughts, and we both are able to hear a different viewpoint and perhaps learn something. It seems to me that this is the way relationships work. Whether through words, actions, or their mere presence, people in relationship influence each other.
I had the interesting experience yesterday of looking down and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, noticing my belly-button. I thought to myself, ‘what a strange reminder that I am not alone in this life; what a present reminder that I am meant to be connected to others’ (thanks mom). Yes, if you have a belly-button, then you are made for relationship.
If, then, I am made for relationship, and influencing others is an intrinsic part of relationships, how do I approach positively influencing those around me in the best way possible. I think the best approach is not to try to influence others, but instead to accept that it happens. I’m not an advocate of unduly influencing others, or of imposing ways of thought or action upon them – that’s not much of a relationship. I think the best way of going about it, and this is what I strive to do, is to change yourself for the better. I work to be the best person that I can be. I seek to live a life guided by faith, hope, and love. I work to learn and grow, in humility accepting and considering the advice and examples of others. I know that those who have most positively influenced me have been those who have done it by simply being people whom I wish to emulate. I think that this is the best approach. It allows for positive influence in a manner that respects the other person in the relationship.
A couple days ago a friend of mine shared some wisdom that I think very pertinent to this topic. He told me, “if someone wants to know what I’m thinking, they should buy me a couple beers”. He told me this while we were hanging out in a pub talking and enjoying each other’s company. Herein lies the other important aspect of relationships: shared presence. If we’re not spending time with people, the positive aspects of our relationships will not be able to take place.
- - - - - - - - -
I once had someone explain to me how he/she was reticent to volunteer his/her thoughts because he/she didn’t want to influence others. I remember being very puzzled about this way of thinking.
The more I think about relationships and human interaction, the more I come to realize that influence is an unavoidable part of such things. Not only is it an unavoidable part of relationships, it is also a necessary part. Every human interaction, however large or however small, will involve the influence of one party on the other (and vice versa). The influence may be very temporary or it may have long-term effects, but it will be there.
Long ago, I began to get very tired with the “it’s my choice and it affects me so I’ll do what I want” approach. The super-individualistic mindset is a tired and spent relic of the past; well, maybe it’s not, but it should be. Many people in our fragmented society are waking up to the reality that we live in a world of human interaction and relationships. We are learning to ask ourselves what it means to live in relationship with the people around us, what it means to live in community. We are asking ourselves what it might look like to live and act cognizant of the effects our choices and actions might have on the lives of those around us. What kind of influence do we exert?
Returning to the first sentiment above, I ask myself, is that a reasonable expectation to hold: not wanting to influence others? I share my thoughts exactly because I want to influence others. Also, I share my thoughts because I want others to influence me. Ideally that’s what a conversation would involve: I share my thoughts, the other person shares his/her thoughts, and we both are able to hear a different viewpoint and perhaps learn something. It seems to me that this is the way relationships work. Whether through words, actions, or their mere presence, people in relationship influence each other.
I had the interesting experience yesterday of looking down and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, noticing my belly-button. I thought to myself, ‘what a strange reminder that I am not alone in this life; what a present reminder that I am meant to be connected to others’ (thanks mom). Yes, if you have a belly-button, then you are made for relationship.
If, then, I am made for relationship, and influencing others is an intrinsic part of relationships, how do I approach positively influencing those around me in the best way possible. I think the best approach is not to try to influence others, but instead to accept that it happens. I’m not an advocate of unduly influencing others, or of imposing ways of thought or action upon them – that’s not much of a relationship. I think the best way of going about it, and this is what I strive to do, is to change yourself for the better. I work to be the best person that I can be. I seek to live a life guided by faith, hope, and love. I work to learn and grow, in humility accepting and considering the advice and examples of others. I know that those who have most positively influenced me have been those who have done it by simply being people whom I wish to emulate. I think that this is the best approach. It allows for positive influence in a manner that respects the other person in the relationship.
A couple days ago a friend of mine shared some wisdom that I think very pertinent to this topic. He told me, “if someone wants to know what I’m thinking, they should buy me a couple beers”. He told me this while we were hanging out in a pub talking and enjoying each other’s company. Herein lies the other important aspect of relationships: shared presence. If we’re not spending time with people, the positive aspects of our relationships will not be able to take place.
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Saturday, June 12, 2010
Thoughts on Loneliness...
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This past week has been a bit of a change for me as my dear wife has been away. I've had much time to think about things that I might not otherwise think about.
Thursday was the loneliest day that I can remember having for a long time. I've had some very lonely times in my life, and I'm not attempting to draw a comparison here, but Thursday was indeed a lonely day. It wasn't so much the day itself, but more the evening and night. I'm quite used to spending my morning (post-breakfast) and afternoon alone - just me and my studies - but not so much my evenings.
"Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?"
Loneliness is a very real, and constant, part of life for many people. There are also many of us who only experience loneliness in small and sporadic ways. When we have ready access to friends and family it is easy to take them for granted. It is easy to forget that they are the blessings that add richness and meaning to our lives.
One interesting thing about loneliness, at least from my experience, is that it can be very heavy; and the weight of it can shut a person off from those whom are truly needed and desired during such a time. It would seem to make sense that if one is lonely, then one would seek out others to spend time with. But, again from my experience, this is not necessarily the case. Loneliness can make a person turn inwards and dwell in the loneliness. In such times it is necessary for others to draw such a person out into the light of day and enjoy companionship again. Unfortunately it is not always easy to know when somebody requires such a lift. It takes time and attention to see what others might need of you. It takes a genuine, deliberate action to help alleviate the weight of loneliness that others are experiencing.
Friendship, companionship, shared laughter and tears, and relationship are gifts that many of us enjoy. Make no mistake, they are gifts that we have received from others. Inasmuch as we have received them from others, it is impingent upon us to share such gifts.
It is truly quite difficult to reach out to others when the weight of loneliness is bearing down. That's why it is such a wondrous grace when others make the effort to do the reaching out.
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This past week has been a bit of a change for me as my dear wife has been away. I've had much time to think about things that I might not otherwise think about.
Thursday was the loneliest day that I can remember having for a long time. I've had some very lonely times in my life, and I'm not attempting to draw a comparison here, but Thursday was indeed a lonely day. It wasn't so much the day itself, but more the evening and night. I'm quite used to spending my morning (post-breakfast) and afternoon alone - just me and my studies - but not so much my evenings.
"Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?"
Loneliness is a very real, and constant, part of life for many people. There are also many of us who only experience loneliness in small and sporadic ways. When we have ready access to friends and family it is easy to take them for granted. It is easy to forget that they are the blessings that add richness and meaning to our lives.
One interesting thing about loneliness, at least from my experience, is that it can be very heavy; and the weight of it can shut a person off from those whom are truly needed and desired during such a time. It would seem to make sense that if one is lonely, then one would seek out others to spend time with. But, again from my experience, this is not necessarily the case. Loneliness can make a person turn inwards and dwell in the loneliness. In such times it is necessary for others to draw such a person out into the light of day and enjoy companionship again. Unfortunately it is not always easy to know when somebody requires such a lift. It takes time and attention to see what others might need of you. It takes a genuine, deliberate action to help alleviate the weight of loneliness that others are experiencing.
Friendship, companionship, shared laughter and tears, and relationship are gifts that many of us enjoy. Make no mistake, they are gifts that we have received from others. Inasmuch as we have received them from others, it is impingent upon us to share such gifts.
It is truly quite difficult to reach out to others when the weight of loneliness is bearing down. That's why it is such a wondrous grace when others make the effort to do the reaching out.
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Thursday, June 3, 2010
Thoughts on Reading: the importance of literature...
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I read. I like to read – I mean really like to read. My parents were readers and I’m a reader. Since I’m currently working on my M.A. thesis, sometimes I read for days on end (and generally enjoy it). I’ve always thought that there is something magical about literature. We often take it for granted, but I do think it really is quite something.. Think about it: one person (or a printer) makes marks on a page and another person (separated by time and space) can accurately interpret meaning from these symbols. These marks on a page can have the power to elicit strong emotional response; to impart knowledge; to alter the way people think; and even to change peoples lives. The great religions of the world (to varying degrees and in varying ways) look to words on a page as guides for spiritual knowledge and direction. Ever since the invention of writing (in my humble opinion) there hasn’t been so powerful a force at work in human society.
I recently heard an interview of a Canadian author, Yann Martel. Thought he was being interviewed primarily regarding his recent book, Beatrice and Virgil, he also discussed the need for literature. Though I’ve yet to read any of his works, I found the discussion thoroughly interesting:
“If you never nourish yourself from literature, how do you dream, how do you have vision, how do you know the other? Reading is like traveling. Reading informs our vision of life… I think reading at the very least, at the very, very least gives you knowledge – but I think a little bit more, it increases your empathy.”
Through literature one can ‘experience’ what the lives of others are like. Literature can help one to see the world through another’s eyes. I can read a book and get a glimpse into life in 19th century industrial London, modern Afghanistan, or 4th century Roman Africa; I can ‘see’ through the eyes of mothers, soldiers, nurses, politicians, and ordinary people of every race and background. Literature gives the opportunity to broaden one’s perspective and view events and issues differently. I think Martel is correct: it certainly can increase one’s empathy.
In a society that (over)emphasizes technological and economical capabilities and related forms of education, it is vital to remember the important role that literature can play in positively forming individuals and society as a whole.
Reading is important – and if you ask me, mighty enjoyable.
- - - - - - - - - -
I read. I like to read – I mean really like to read. My parents were readers and I’m a reader. Since I’m currently working on my M.A. thesis, sometimes I read for days on end (and generally enjoy it). I’ve always thought that there is something magical about literature. We often take it for granted, but I do think it really is quite something.. Think about it: one person (or a printer) makes marks on a page and another person (separated by time and space) can accurately interpret meaning from these symbols. These marks on a page can have the power to elicit strong emotional response; to impart knowledge; to alter the way people think; and even to change peoples lives. The great religions of the world (to varying degrees and in varying ways) look to words on a page as guides for spiritual knowledge and direction. Ever since the invention of writing (in my humble opinion) there hasn’t been so powerful a force at work in human society.
I recently heard an interview of a Canadian author, Yann Martel. Thought he was being interviewed primarily regarding his recent book, Beatrice and Virgil, he also discussed the need for literature. Though I’ve yet to read any of his works, I found the discussion thoroughly interesting:
“If you never nourish yourself from literature, how do you dream, how do you have vision, how do you know the other? Reading is like traveling. Reading informs our vision of life… I think reading at the very least, at the very, very least gives you knowledge – but I think a little bit more, it increases your empathy.”
Through literature one can ‘experience’ what the lives of others are like. Literature can help one to see the world through another’s eyes. I can read a book and get a glimpse into life in 19th century industrial London, modern Afghanistan, or 4th century Roman Africa; I can ‘see’ through the eyes of mothers, soldiers, nurses, politicians, and ordinary people of every race and background. Literature gives the opportunity to broaden one’s perspective and view events and issues differently. I think Martel is correct: it certainly can increase one’s empathy.
In a society that (over)emphasizes technological and economical capabilities and related forms of education, it is vital to remember the important role that literature can play in positively forming individuals and society as a whole.
Reading is important – and if you ask me, mighty enjoyable.
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