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This past week has been a bit of a change for me as my dear wife has been away. I've had much time to think about things that I might not otherwise think about.
Thursday was the loneliest day that I can remember having for a long time. I've had some very lonely times in my life, and I'm not attempting to draw a comparison here, but Thursday was indeed a lonely day. It wasn't so much the day itself, but more the evening and night. I'm quite used to spending my morning (post-breakfast) and afternoon alone - just me and my studies - but not so much my evenings.
"Eleanor Rigby died in the church and was buried along with her name
Nobody came
All the lonely people
Where do they all come from?
All the lonely people
Where do they all belong?"
Loneliness is a very real, and constant, part of life for many people. There are also many of us who only experience loneliness in small and sporadic ways. When we have ready access to friends and family it is easy to take them for granted. It is easy to forget that they are the blessings that add richness and meaning to our lives.
One interesting thing about loneliness, at least from my experience, is that it can be very heavy; and the weight of it can shut a person off from those whom are truly needed and desired during such a time. It would seem to make sense that if one is lonely, then one would seek out others to spend time with. But, again from my experience, this is not necessarily the case. Loneliness can make a person turn inwards and dwell in the loneliness. In such times it is necessary for others to draw such a person out into the light of day and enjoy companionship again. Unfortunately it is not always easy to know when somebody requires such a lift. It takes time and attention to see what others might need of you. It takes a genuine, deliberate action to help alleviate the weight of loneliness that others are experiencing.
Friendship, companionship, shared laughter and tears, and relationship are gifts that many of us enjoy. Make no mistake, they are gifts that we have received from others. Inasmuch as we have received them from others, it is impingent upon us to share such gifts.
It is truly quite difficult to reach out to others when the weight of loneliness is bearing down. That's why it is such a wondrous grace when others make the effort to do the reaching out.
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For someone who has experienced lonliness only in "small and sporadic ways", you certainly have an understanding and insight into the "heaviness" and darkness that it holds. It becomes all encompassing. I thank God for the "wondrous grace" of others.
ReplyDeleteThank you for your amazing, thought provoking musings.
As I read your reflection on your recent experience of loneliness I find myself considering my own experiences. Human experience without connection seems little more than an existance devoid of purpose. How peculiar is it that loneliness should still find me while I am surrounded by friends and family? I think that maybe I grew up with a family with little real connection to each other. Although care was taken to celebrate holidays together, to eat dinner together every night; it seems that the relationships we held were missing some significant aspect of the bonds that others experience. This feeling of emptiness within relationships continues through my life. You are truly lucky to experience the love you have with your family and your God. The gravity of the lack of connection to others permeates my existence and at times can be so overwhelming. It may not only be that the weight of loneliness prevents one from seeking companionship, but that for some, it is not always inherently clear how to engage with others on more than a superficial level, even when the desire is there.
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