I was recently listening to a fellow on the radio discussing the disturbances to air traffic and travel plans which have been caused by the ash from Iceland’s volcano, Eyjafjallajökull. It got me to thinking about the way that we (myself and those whom I’ve observed/heard) view such events. By ‘such events’ I don’t mean the eruptions of volcanoes; instead, I mean changes to the plan.
I’ve been following (off and on) the situation in Europe and the widespread effects this volcano has had. And it occurred to me while listening to the reports that we, those of us in the western world especially, often fall into the trap of thinking that life goes according to plan. With all the freedoms we enjoy (not to mention our luxurious way of life), it almost seems natural that we can have things our way. Then, from time to time, something comes along and points out that we don’t have control over what life brings our way and we think it an anomaly. Really, though, we ought to recognize something intrinsic to life: the unexpected. This could be referred to this as a ‘lack of control’ over life.
It seems to me that central to this discussion is the idea of proper expectations. What expectations, often tacit ones, do we have regarding life? If I expect to have control over life, I will likely be disappointed at some point. The reality is that life is inherently uncontrollable. Hence, it is also unpredictable. Our plans at some point or other will be forced to change: it’s inevitable.
Some might see this as a negative view of life, as depressing or fatalistic – I don’t. First of all, we still have the choice to be in full control of our own actions. I find this a liberating thought: I cannot control what is brought my way; but I can choose how I will live and act and respond to what life brings my way. Second, hard times will come our way – there will be unexpected hardships which I won’t try to minimize – but good times and great serendipitous surprises will also come. Most of the things and people in my life that I love and value (those who bring meaning to my existence) were not planned. My wife and Dutch-in-laws are nothing like I would have imagined, but I wouldn’t trade them for the world. I could not have conceived of the many strange and beautiful characters who comprise the groups of friends I have.
Life would not be life without the unexpected. My approach tends to be along the lines of embracing the unexpected. There are forced changes to plans that are, if we’re honest, nothing more than an inconvenience. And really, convenience is highly over-rated. Such surprises are best viewed as an opportunity to embrace life and have some fun. There are also other, more life-altering surprises. These are to be accepted and dealt with as best able. There is a perspective that we tend to lack: our vision is often very short-sighted. Even at my tender age of three decades, I can look back on changes to my life with a much better perspective of past events than I had at the time they were happening. The truth is that you never know what life will bring.
What, then, ought we to expect in life? The unexpected I guess. When our plans shift, change, or fall apart, it’s all a part of this journey we call life. We still ought to make plans, but always with the awareness that all plans are ultimately tentative.
Ah, yee of tender age...and yet such wisdom! :) You were not exactly the husband that I was expecting...but you (and your family) are better than I could have ever imagined!
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