Living, Growing, and ‘Coming in to your own’…

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A wise man, who had just entered the retired life, recently told me, “You know, I could have spent my life just talking with people, listening to their stories – everyone has a story”. He is correct: everyone does has a story.

Lately, I’ve been thinking about the various stories that I come in contact with, those of friends and family, those of well-known and influential persons, those of historical persons having long passed from this world, even those of fictional characters who never existed – so many stories. More specifically, I have been musing about a certain plot turn that seems fairly common to many of the stories: growth.

I remember discussing a mutual friend with my wife. I was telling her how cool I thought this person was and how this person impressed me with her character, ability to engage different ideas, and apparent level of acceptance of, and comfortability with, herself. My wife informed me that it was living abroad for a period of time that had wrought such change and growth in this person. I think this can be a fairly common experience for some people. There is something about the chance to stretch one’s wings and explore new vistas that allows for growth and change. Often these people come back changed, yet somehow ‘more themselves’ than they were before. It’s an amazing thing to behold, to see someone coming into their own.

Some people experience such a positive change without the change of location. I remember the way the arrival of my dear little niece hastened an incredible growth and maturation in my older brother. It seemed, at least to my eyes, as though overnight this new man appeared. Suddenly I had this role model for manhood and (eventually) fatherhood. It still makes me shake my head and marvel.

This little plot turn in people’s stories can also take place in a different, less dramatic or sudden way. I’ve watched my little sister mature and grow over the past several years. I couldn’t discern a particular moment or event that had inaugurated this change. I suppose it is the ‘natural’ maturation process at work (although in many people this process doesn’t seem to ‘naturally’ happen). Many people grow right before our eyes: day by day they gain increasing confidence and comfortability in themselves. It is not until years have passed and we reflect back that we realize a change has even taken place.

As I consider the many stories, and the many plot turns, I wonder how this particular player (i.e. me) can positively affect the stories that he plays so minor a role in. Indeed, how can I go about encouraging and supporting this kind of growth in those around me. How can I aid in the complex process of shedding the fears that hold back growth and discarding the masks that people hide behind? How can I nurture and promote people ‘coming into their own’, gaining confidence and comfortability in themselves? Hmmm...

These qualities and characteristics are already there in all of us, nascent, awaiting the time when they can rise to the surface and shine. It really is an incredible thing to behold.

Gloria Deo!

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