Accepting Gifts...

Let me be clear at the outset: I'm not easily offended. It's true. I'm generally a very easy going guy. There aren't many things that people can do or say that will offend me; I'm not saying that there are none, but perhaps there are few.

I think that some people are not clear on what a gift is. At least in my thinking, a gift is something given for free, for nothing in return. Well, maybe a thanks in return, but that's about it. I think this is often how I experience life. Most of the things I have or receive are gifts, things that I have not merited in any tangible way. I eat food, breathe air, enjoy friendships, and the kindness of strangers, essentially, I live life. All of this is gift; and all that I can do in return is live in gratitude and thankfulness.

So, when I give someone a gift and receive money or something in return for it (other than a thank you card, which are wonderfully thoughtful) I feel as though the gift is somehow nullified. Suddenly there is a transaction taking place and my gift is somehow less of a gift. I think I would rather have someone say, 'no, thank you' and not accept the gift than to have them thank me and then try to pay me.

Now I'm not saying such actions (and certainly not such people) are necessarily wrong. Perhaps it comes from a desire not to be obliged or indebted to another. Though, now that I think about it, we are all (in one way or another) indebted to others. I cannot measure the great debt I owe to my friends and family over the years. I think there is something intrinsic to life in which indebtedness is an inseparable part. We begin life already at the mercy of our mothers and fathers (not to mention our Creator), indebted to them for their hard work, love and gracious care. If I tried to pay back my mother for all that she has given me over my lifetime... oh boy, it would take several lifetimes to even begin. I've been married for a little over a year now, and if I calculated all that I owe my wife for her love and support... again, it would take the rest of our marriage together for me to begin such a task. Perhaps therein lies the answer. We are indebted to those people in our lives who have given us so much (and even so little). But, if we truly want to pay them back for what we have freely received, the way is not money but instead expressed gratitude: expressed in words, expressed in how we treat them, think of them, speak of them; expressed in the way we live our lives as indebted people, people indebted to love who give love in return.

I began writing this post thinking about how it offends me when I give someone a gift and they attempt to pay me for it. I think that I shall end it thinking about how I am a debtor to the love given me and how I am to repay that love to all those around me.

Look at me attempting to repay this gift given me: what an offense...